I have lots of lots of things i feel like just ranting out right now .

FIRSTLY - I FEEL LIKE DYING .

secondly , why am i typing all this is because , i really hate my family , they dont seems tu understand mye .

exspcially my mum like fer an example , today evening i told my mum abt the guy i like , she scream into my ears like as if i have dead , by saying yeur whole mind is all abt boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend , like ohhh pls ! like as if eu dont think all this when eu were my age . eu do , i believe everyone does think of their future . whenever i need tu buy things like clothes etc etc , she's forever asking mye tu use my own money , like fer FUCK la , whr the hell am i gng tu get money tu use my own money , STEAL arh ? Work , i also want but eu gave mye such a packed scheldule how tu work , EVERYDAY DANCE DANCE DANCE , i injuried leg eu also still force mye go dance , are eu crazy ? eu want my leg tu break isit ? when sis injuried her leg eu will ask her tu rest at home dont go fer wushu , but when i injuried my leg eu will still force mye tu go fer dance , how horrible can this be ? i really hate this bloody pathetic family , but look who can i tell all this tu ? i tried tu tell eu , but all i get is a wet blanket from eu , i tried tu tell chomel but same fer goes chomel , she will still reply mye with a wet blanket , i tried tu tell dad , but dad will be like , shall we discuss abt this next morning , i need tu sleep or is shall we dicuss abt this next tyme , im having a meeting now . think of how eu treat mye & chomel , if eu dare tu say its the same den ? i think eu need councilling , just when chomel say she doesnt like this house she wanna move away , eu agree with it and said we will be moving tu some whr near chomel's school , like pls what bout mye have eu ever thot will it wont be convenient fer mye , but eu doesnt seems tu get it yah ? when i eat a salmon, eu can even say at the side like as if the salmon has own eu in yeur previous life or is neither the salmon has some flu or smth , eu just wont let mye eat in peace , How horrible ! think abt when eu last brough something fer mye ? LONG YEAH ! yea , im always not yeur daughter , yes yeur daughter is chomel because she's smarter , yeah ! i admit im dumb , im stupid , im irritating , i cant fit tu be yeur daughter but can i change mother ? since God have appoint eu as my mum i cant blame God fer this right ? and eu cant blame mye because im daughter , and im not like how eu think im , i love God and seriously how long have eu last went church with mye seems like 10 years ago right ? how much have eu seen my grow in my church ? Nothing right ? i guess eu dont even knw whr am i spiritually ? and i guess yeur thinking i havent really growth in spiritual right ? hmmm , its okay ! lets just think of the last tyme i ever went out with eu ? think of the last tyme eu actually went tu support mye fer dance ? think of the last tyme eu actually went church with mye ? think of the last tyme eu care abt how i felt ? think of the last tyme eu ever ask mye questions abt how life ? THINK & reflect . since when have eu ever talk tu mye besides shouting ? since when ?

chomel - ARE WE EVEN SISTERS ? soo far we nvr even gone out once at all alone in our life time , did we even dicuss about things before ? i guess no ! we dont even talk unless i dont knw how tu spell some words and unless eu need tu use my com . SERIOUSLY ! are we even sisters . we dress soo differently , we dont even talk , we treat each other like strangers .

i have been reflecting but i guess not eu , i have been thinking am i a horrible daughter am i a horrible sister , i have been thinking abt what i done and made eu dislike mye , but i realise it wasnt all mye , but some was also YEUR FAULT ! i hold on tu God closely because i have once gone bad , i hold on tu God because he accepts mye during the lowest peak at my life when i realise i cant find love in this family and incase i lost myself and went back tu how i was like before . Smoke , glue , steal & cutting do eu even knw tt i once did all this ? i guess eu didnt realise .